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This last week was horribly busy and it’s all my fault. If the dictionary had the term “Yes Woman” in it, I’d be pictured looking fried, worn and well…jacked up. I have a tendency to take on new projects or responsibilities, often with a smile and a “glad to help” attitude. When I’m in the moment of joyfully saying “yes,” life is good. Then reality strikes, as everything I’ve said “yes” to gains momentum, and I’m left frazzled and overwhelmed with way too much to do - a lot like this past week.

I know I’m not alone, so I thought I’d write this post to share how to avoid this situation altogether, and also offer a few effective strategies to get back on track.

Avoidance Behavior
I know…it sounds like a bad thing, but if you have a habit of saying “yes” too much, then you’ll want to use these tips to avoid getting into responsibilities you don’t really need or want:

• Understand why you say “yes” - There are three motivations that drive me to say “yes” - an innate drive to always be doing something, the pleasure of knowing I’m needed, and money. I fell prey to all three of these over the last several weeks and they all happened to peak this week - I said “yes” to serving on TWO volunteer organizations, I said “yes” to helping on a special project, and I said “yes” to teaching more classes. What are your “yes triggers?” What causes you to say “yes” even though you know you’re too busy to take on more?
• Clarify your purpose and key roles - This one goes back to a point I’m passionate about and that’s your personal or family mission statement. When you’re clear about where you’re going and who you are, it’s much easier to say “no” to the things that don’t align with your mission and “yes” to the things that do. Your mission is like a compass - it provides direction during times of uncertainty. When you’re being asked to take on a new responsibility or commitment, check it against your mission to see if doing it will put you in the right direction.
• Use the 80/20 rule - I wrote about the 80/20 rule recently, “80% of your results and rewards are derived from only 20% of your priorities and activities.” When you’re trying to decide whether to say “yes,” ask yourself whether the rewards of doing so will create the rewards and results you want. In my case, serving as a volunteer in the two organizations I mentioned earlier do have the kind of rewards I want, so it was a good decision. Some of the other choices…not so good.
• Practice saying, “No, for now.” - Instead of instantly jumping to “yes,” give yourself time to honestly evaluate your current commitments, mission and goals. Also, do some future thinking and consider how a “yes” today might impact things you have lined up later.

1. Take a break and don’t take on anything more…for now. This may seem obvious, but if fellow over-extended mom friend came to me desperate for help, I would really have a hard time turning her away. But realistically, I need a cooling off period to recover from exhaustion, sleep deprivation and other debiliating affects of doing too much. The truth is, if I’m frazzled, I’m pretty useless. A rested, calm mind is so much better at making decisions and getting things done. Plus, taking it easy over the next few days will allow my schedule to normalize and return to a steady flow, or routine.
2. Get a planner and use it! Individually, none of the things I accepted fill much space in my schedule. But, crammed into one week, they became a huge issue. I had even double-booked myself, which forced to me back out of a commitment. All of this could have been avoided, had I used my planner! Instead, I either forgot about a commitment and had to be reminded at the last minute, or remembered at the last minute and had to scramble to be several places at once.
3. Delegate and ask for help - You’d think I was sitting here all by myself with no support system, but I do have a great husband, friends and family who are willing to help me in a pinch. You probably do to. So, ask for help and share the to-do’s on your list. Delegating is an important skill for working moms, both at home and in the office. The topic really requires more exploration, so look forward to a post on delegation in the next few days.

Alright, so those are my thoughts. Now I’m off to implement the Recovery Strategy.

 
———-Sidebar———-
Thanks to these great readers for not leaving me topless in Arizona earlier this week:

• Marissa
• Elizabeth
• Helene
• Dana
• Tess
• Jennae

Your suggestion were inspiring and helped me get out of my writer’s rut. I’m still open to hearing what you want to read more about, so feel free to add your comments to this post. 
———-End sidebar———-

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