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(This article was submitted by Guest Author, Michelle MacLaughlin, M.A.)

The Single Working Mother (SWM) wears many hats. It is easy to get lost in the swirling energy of obligation, leaving you feeling mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually drained.

What can you do?

First, take a breath and slow down! Then try one or more of these additional suggestions to help you take care of YOU. Feel free to tweak some of them as your intuition guides you.

Access your support network. Finding support can be challenging. If you can afford a nanny, the task isn’t as arduous. But if you’re relying on babysitters, daycare or school, finding help during after-school hours, evenings and weekends is tough and expensive. Here are some ideas on how to find cost effective help:

• Your Family: If you have relatives near by who are willing and able to help, then ASK! Don’t wait until you are on the edge. Plan ahead so that you have something to look forward to and the time is fulfilling. Make a commitment to give yourself an outing at least twice a month. Don’t stack up chores to do when the kids are with their father or family!
• Neighbors: My neighbors have saved me on numerous occasions when babysitters didn’t show up. I, in turn, have had many cookie bakes and sleepovers! If your neighbors have responsible teenagers, enlist them for short amounts of time or later in the evening when a younger child is asleep. Younger teen girls make a great mother’s helpers.
• Other Single Working Mothers (SWMs): If you know other SWMs through school or work, approach her about exchanging babysitting. Don’t be shy. It may be the very thing she needs and never thought to ask!
• Church, Temple or other Spiritual Centers: Whether you are a member or not, call your local religious centers to see if they have volunteers or if you may post a sign for child-care.

Networking for babysitting may seem like another task on your list but the many benefits that you will receive will be your reward.

Improve your physical and spiritual energy. Moving from the practical to the physical and spiritual, here are some suggestions for stress reduction that will fuel and heal the mind-body.

As a certified yoga instructor, I personally engage in each of the following practices. They take time, discipline and commitment to work. There is no quick fix. So, again, take a breath and slow down! Look at these methods as maintenance, like you’re coming off of a liquid diet and now you are introducing healthy foods to your body again. The liquid diet is not the new solution. It’s just the first step in the process.

• Yoga: Yoga provides physical exercise, emotional release, spiritual connection and time for your self. Beginners try a Level 1 or Basics class. If you’re a kickboxer or runner then try Power Yoga. Make sure that the instructor has had formal yoga training.
• Meditation: Studies have shown that meditation slows the heart rate, which calms the entire central nervous system. It tames the thoughts of the mind, allowing you to connect to your inner-self. Sit quietly with the spine tall on a pillow or blanket so the hips are higher than your knees, with legs crossed or straight. Close your eyes and start to follow your breath. Start with 5 minutes and increase to 30 minutes. Make this a part of every day, either first thing in the morning, on your lunch break or before bed.
• Exercise, Sleep and Nutrition: You need all of your strength and energy to tackle your days and nights. Other forms of exercise and seven to eight hours of sleep at night are essential for a clear mind and calm body. Too little sleep stimulates the endocrine system putting your body into fight or flight, stressing your adrenal glands. Too much sugar and not enough protein wear the body down contributing to fatigue and irritability.

It’s all about choice. Remember, self-care is a choice. Finding ways to have fun is a choice. Allowing time for rejuvenation is a choice. If it is difficult for you to bring enjoyment into your life, ask yourself these questions: Whom would I be if I took better care of myself? What is the cost of not taking care of me? Am I worth it? I hope the answer is a resounding YES!

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Michelle MacLaughlin, M.A. is a single, working mother with three young children. She navigates the challenges that all mothers face and holds compassion and an authentic understanding for those doing it on their own. Michelle has a Master’s degree in Counseling and has been trained with The Coaches Training Institute. Michelle can be reached at mmaclaughlin@adelphia.net or 818-825-0076.

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