I‘ve been going through a gut-twisting work-life conflict recently. I know you’ll understand because as a working mom, you know what it’s like to be pulled in many directions at once.
On the one hand, I love my flexible, work-at-home lifestyle. But in the last year, there’s been a distant whisper that’s beckoning me to return to the “traditional” workforce. Whenever I hear it I think, “No way! I’ve been on my own since 2003. It’ll be impossible to go back to…that.”
But the whisper just gets louder and then opportunities are presented that I’d never expect. The “perfect” job opening falls on my lap and I’m left wondering, “Do I go for it? Is now the time?”
Until now, I’ve passed on the opportunities. There’s a piece of me that doubts whether the companies described as “work/life champions” only exist in the pages of Working Mother magazine’s 100 Best list. I also wonder whether returning to work means the demise of my lifelong dream to publish a book. The most pressing question is, What will I give up in exchange for my career?
“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it possible.” ~unknown
That quote forces me to reframe my initial question as I now ponder, Why must there be an exchange? Perhaps, I’m unrealistic, Pollyanna-ish and overly optimistic because I always arrive at the same response, “There doesn’t have to be.”
I want an incredible career where my contributions matter and I’m paid well for them. I want to be stretched and challenged in new ways professionally and personally. I want to be back in San Diego. I want to enjoy a quality family life where I am present for my children and husband. I want to publish that book that’s been lying in wait for years to emerge. Yes, I want it all and more.
And I believe I can have it, so I’m going for it. Today, I shipped off my resume for an amazing position in San Diego right around the block from where I used to live. The job looks challenging. I’m qualified. Heck, I’m perfect for the job! And later this week, I’ll call the company and try to wrangle an interview (if business ownership has taught me anything, it’s how to make my way to decision makers and schedule meetings). But yea…it’s scary. Sometimes it feels downright insane. But, going for what I say I want is so much easier than living with the regret of not even trying.
What about you? What do you believe about your work-life and how is it holding you back or propelling you forward?
p.s. Before this post causes a blogosphere panic, I am not closing down The Integrated Mother blog. Nor am I ceasing my freelance writing business cold turkey. Hello! I still have a family to feed and a desire to work. I’m simply exploring the whisper and seeing where it leads. Stay tuned…
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Good for you! I try to live with a “no regrets” mentality. If the job is “meant to be”, you’ll get it.
Right now, I’m content with my work/life juggle. Of course, there are times that I’m working that I’d rather be with my family and vice versa. At the end of the day though…I love my life. I wish that for you (and every other mom!)
That’s right! I do believe in things coming together for a purpose and reason, but things can only come together when I’m in action (not sitting around waiting for “luck” to strike). So I’ll do my part and if the job is meant to be, then it will happen and it will feel right. And if staying on my existing path is meant to be, then OK. I’m cool with that too. Thanks Kim!
I firmly believe that stating your goals takes you at least 60% of the way to achieving them. What you’ve done in your 6th paragraph (“I want an incredible career…”) is exactly that. You’ve created a roadmap to follow. While there are compelling arguments for the advantages of wandering without a specific destination (in both literal and metaphorical applications), my experience is that you get what you want by laying it out in words on paper. Good luck!
Yes! There is researched evidence that supports your assertion Nancy and think it might even be higher – you have a 75% or more chance of meeting your goal by writing it down. Thank you!
thanks for the inspiration, i have been juggling with the idea of reducing my hours at work to purse an alternate career path. I too have heard the little voice, and i have finally decided to go for it.
it will be hard at first but with faith and a lot of hard work, i think it is possible.
thank you all for your words of encouragement. i hope everything works out for the best
I appreciate your comment Tami – thank you. It is hard to follow that little voice especially when the voices of the media and others are so loud (and negative to some extent). But with faith and action, I do believe that we can achieve what we want. So I press on!
Wow Michelle! Thanks for the honest and open post, as always! I believe everything is possible & we don’t have to sacrifice what we want in order to have it all. The timing just may something to juggle, but it’ll happen! Good luck with everything. I know you’ll make it work.
Thanks Selena!
I come to realize that there isn’t any set way we as moms need to keep to. If your spirit moves you to work outside the home at this point then follow it and see. No matter what you chose I know you will always put the best interest of your family first. Well wishes!
Exactly! I’m finally figuring out why they don’t hand out mom manuals when you bring your baby home – there would be a different one for each mom. Thanks for your well wishes!
I’ve thought about this one. I just returned to the office (2x a week) after five years. And here’s the thing. I love it. I missed the team atmosphere and working on large-scale projects. I don’t know where it will lead as it is a start up venture, but in the back of my mind I cannot ignore the possibility of ramping up my career a lot sooner than anticipated. Good luck with the job.
I’m with you Nicole. I miss the team environment and contributing to something bigger than my own self interests as a work-at-home, solo business owner. Sure, I help my clients and their companies, but since I work largely as a contractor/consultant, I blow in and out of companies without being able to be a part of the on-going success. Ah…just one of the reasons I’m going back because the decision wasn’t a quick one. Thanks for your support!
I thought you made a lot of really interesting points in your post. I just spotlighted it in my blog at The Toronto Star. (See link above.)
Thanks Ann! I appreciate the mention on your blog.