I may be a classic introvert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy people. In fact, I love connecting with others and being a connector for others. Connecting, nurturing those amazing relationships with others, is fun and as a business owner, it’s profitable. You’re familiar with the adage, “People do business with those they like and trust.” It all comes down to those amazing relationships.

But as with anything of real pleasure, it can be a double-edged sword.

Leap, and the net will appear – right?

Besides being an introvert who loves people, I’m also a high-achiever, which means when I’m in – I’m all in and a BIG bag of chips! So when an opportunity presents itself to connect with more people, for business or otherwise, I tend to leap in.

And I found my net alright – the Internet!

In 2007, imagine my delight when I began to notice the rapid emergence of social media – blogs, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. It was like connecting candy for me and it didn’t take long for me to jump into the online playground where I discovered new “friends” and business opportunities – all from the comfort and convenience of my home! That was the upside.

The downside is that I can’t be everywhere, even in the virtual space. Trying to manage a presence on multiple social networking sites, plus nurturing offline relationships, is nearly impossible – if you value sleep and quality connections, and I do. I’d much rather develop a strong relationship with a small handful and enjoy meaningful dialogue, than have thousands of hollow, empty friendships.

Am I being a good friend?

I don’t think so. Social media has turned “friend” into a verb (“Friend me.”) and it’s misleading. If I’m spread between dozens of communities – offline and online – we’re probably not really friends, just social acquaintances who happen to be in the same room. We’re not connecting – really. And I don’t enjoy those kinds of relationships.

So, since the beginning of this year I’ve been slowly weening myself off of various social networking sites and releasing the virtual tether to my laptop and iPhone. I closed down the Ning site I set up for The Integrated Mother and I’m moments from ending the LinkedIn group too. I’ve returned to the philosophy I’ve used in my offline networking: Quality over quantity. If you want to find me and truly “friend” me, please…I welcome you:

• To connect online, you can find me here, at Write to Incite or on Twitter. Every now and then, I’ll pop onto Facebook or LinkedIn.
• To connect in person, catch me at a NAWBO-Phoenix meeting or IABC-Phoenix event.

If I can’t be all in, I don’t want to be in at all.

Putting in a half-effort has never been my thing – at work, at home or in relationships. But that’s what happened with social media. I was a part of too many. I was putting in a half-effort. When I friended you, I only became your half-friend (ok, really your 1/100th-friend because I was all over the place!).

Social media, I still adore you! But, my journey with you caused me to lose sight of connections that truly matter to me. It caused me to be spread thin. As a working mom, it’s the kiss of death – feeling stretched between too many roles and responsibilities, only to be left empty and exhausted at the end of the day. No thanks. Life is too short.

Quality over quantity – that’s my connection philosophy and I’m stickin’ to it!

How are you doing it?

I imagine that my experience isn’t unlike many working moms who are juggling relationships online and offline. Where do you commit most of your time? What tips do you have for staying connected without losing yourself or your priorities in the process?

Please share in your comments.

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