Enter to win a $25 gift certificate from See Jane Work!
See Jane Work offers working women, no matter what kind of work they do, the tools to manage their time efficiently, and to get and stay organized. The site features classic, whimsical and beautiful office products that’s sure to brighten your drab office space so it becomes a place you actually enjoy.

Pictured here is one of my favorite organizational items - these lightweight, handled file totes are covered in one of three pretty patterns. Each tote has eight expandable sections, an elastic closure and blank adhesive labels. Of course, matching file folders are also available from See Jane Work.

How to Win a $25 Gift Certificate from See Jane Work:
To enter the contest, just leave a comment on this post. In your post tell me - how would you describe your organization style at work?

Earn additional entries when you:

• {1 entry} Sign up for automatic updates from The Integrated Mother via email or RSS. Then send an email to integratedmother [at] gmail [dot] com with “Jane” and the secret code in the subject line. You can find the secret code at the bottom of any post, whether you sign up for email or RSS updates. It’ll look something like this:

• {1 entry} Link to this page on your blog or via Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Facebook, etc., then leave a comment here to let me know how and where you shared. (1 entry)

Remember, you must enter each giveaway separately so I’ll know which you’re interested in! Please be sure to visit the main Back-to-Mom Giveaway page for additional giveaways and guidelines.

Good luck!

Enter to win a $25 Gift Certificate from CareerBags.com!
Who says working moms can’t be stylish, chic and fabulous? Whether you’re toting a laptop and business files or diapers and wipes, CareerBags.com offers you a wide-range of bags and totes to meet the unique taste of every working mom.

Pictured here is one of my favorites - the Nunzia Tuscany - a functional tote with a classic look featuring durable black leather with suede accents. Part purse, part laptop tote, part-time diaper bag - this is a must-have item for any professional working mom!

The winner of this giveaway will receive a $25 gift certificate toward any purchase at CareerBags.com

How to Win the $25 Gift Certificate from CareerBags.com:
To enter the contest, just leave a comment on this post. In your post tell me - how would you describe your ideal handbag?

Earn additional entries when you:

• {1 entry} Sign up for automatic updates from The Integrated Mother via email or RSS. Then send an email to integratedmother [at] gmail [dot] com with “CareerBags” and the secret code in the subject line. You can find the secret code at the bottom of any post, whether you sign up for email or RSS updates. The footer will look something like this:

• {1 entry} Link to this page on your blog or via Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Facebook, etc., then leave a comment here to let me know how and where you shared. (1 entry)

Remember, you must enter each giveaway separately so I’ll know which you’re interested in! Please be sure to visit the main Back-to-Mom Giveaway page for additional giveaways and guidelines.

Good luck!

This last week was horribly busy and it’s all my fault. If the dictionary had the term “Yes Woman” in it, I’d be pictured looking fried, worn and well…jacked up. I have a tendency to take on new projects or responsibilities, often with a smile and a “glad to help” attitude. When I’m in the moment of joyfully saying “yes,” life is good. Then reality strikes, as everything I’ve said “yes” to gains momentum, and I’m left frazzled and overwhelmed with way too much to do - a lot like this past week.

I know I’m not alone, so I thought I’d write this post to share how to avoid this situation altogether, and also offer a few effective strategies to get back on track.

Avoidance Behavior
I know…it sounds like a bad thing, but if you have a habit of saying “yes” too much, then you’ll want to use these tips to avoid getting into responsibilities you don’t really need or want:

• Understand why you say “yes” - There are three motivations that drive me to say “yes” - an innate drive to always be doing something, the pleasure of knowing I’m needed, and money. I fell prey to all three of these over the last several weeks and they all happened to peak this week - I said “yes” to serving on TWO volunteer organizations, I said “yes” to helping on a special project, and I said “yes” to teaching more classes. What are your “yes triggers?” What causes you to say “yes” even though you know you’re too busy to take on more?
• Clarify your purpose and key roles - This one goes back to a point I’m passionate about and that’s your personal or family mission statement. When you’re clear about where you’re going and who you are, it’s much easier to say “no” to the things that don’t align with your mission and “yes” to the things that do. Your mission is like a compass - it provides direction during times of uncertainty. When you’re being asked to take on a new responsibility or commitment, check it against your mission to see if doing it will put you in the right direction.
• Use the 80/20 rule - I wrote about the 80/20 rule recently, “80% of your results and rewards are derived from only 20% of your priorities and activities.” When you’re trying to decide whether to say “yes,” ask yourself whether the rewards of doing so will create the rewards and results you want. In my case, serving as a volunteer in the two organizations I mentioned earlier do have the kind of rewards I want, so it was a good decision. Some of the other choices…not so good.
• Practice saying, “No, for now.” - Instead of instantly jumping to “yes,” give yourself time to honestly evaluate your current commitments, mission and goals. Also, do some future thinking and consider how a “yes” today might impact things you have lined up later.

1. Take a break and don’t take on anything more…for now. This may seem obvious, but if fellow over-extended mom friend came to me desperate for help, I would really have a hard time turning her away. But realistically, I need a cooling off period to recover from exhaustion, sleep deprivation and other debiliating affects of doing too much. The truth is, if I’m frazzled, I’m pretty useless. A rested, calm mind is so much better at making decisions and getting things done. Plus, taking it easy over the next few days will allow my schedule to normalize and return to a steady flow, or routine.
2. Get a planner and use it! Individually, none of the things I accepted fill much space in my schedule. But, crammed into one week, they became a huge issue. I had even double-booked myself, which forced to me back out of a commitment. All of this could have been avoided, had I used my planner! Instead, I either forgot about a commitment and had to be reminded at the last minute, or remembered at the last minute and had to scramble to be several places at once.
3. Delegate and ask for help - You’d think I was sitting here all by myself with no support system, but I do have a great husband, friends and family who are willing to help me in a pinch. You probably do to. So, ask for help and share the to-do’s on your list. Delegating is an important skill for working moms, both at home and in the office. The topic really requires more exploration, so look forward to a post on delegation in the next few days.

Alright, so those are my thoughts. Now I’m off to implement the Recovery Strategy.

 
———-Sidebar———-
Thanks to these great readers for not leaving me topless in Arizona earlier this week:

• Marissa
• Elizabeth
• Helene
• Dana
• Tess
• Jennae

Your suggestion were inspiring and helped me get out of my writer’s rut. I’m still open to hearing what you want to read more about, so feel free to add your comments to this post. 
———-End sidebar———-

Enter to win a Flex Success Proposal Template!
Whether you need a flexible work arrangement to care for your children or aging parents, or to pursue personal interests, you’ll want to have a WorkOptions.com Flex Success Proposal Template alongside you. Within hours you could have a persuasive, professional proposal to that your boss will have a difficult time NOT approving! I used the Flex Success Proposal Template with a former employer and successfully negotiated a part-time schedule, and later a telecommuting option. I couldn’t have done it without the Flex Success Proposal Template.

The winner of this giveaway will have her choice of Telecommuting, Compressed Workweek, Part-time or Job Sharing template, each customizable for her specific position.

How to Win a Flex Success Proposal Template:
To enter the contest, just leave a comment on this post. In your post tell me - which flexible work arrangement do you prefer - telecommuting, compressed workweek, part-time or job sharing?

Earn additional entries when you:

• {1 entry} Sign up for automatic updates from The Integrated Mother via email or RSS. Then send an email to integratedmother [at] gmail [dot] com with “Flex Success” and the secret code in the subject line. You can find the secret code at the bottom of any post, whether you sign up for email or RSS updates. It’ll look something like this:

• {1 entry} Link to this page on your blog or via Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Facebook, etc., then leave a comment here to let me know how and where you shared. (1 entry)

Remember, you must enter each giveaway separately so I’ll know which you’re interested in! Please be sure to visit the main Back-to-Mom Giveaway page for additional giveaways and guidelines.

Good luck!

Enter to win a one-year subscription to Working Mother magazine!
Serving women boldly for over 25 years, Working Mother is the only national magazine that helps career-committed moms balance their personal and professional lives. I’ve personally been a subscriber since first becoming a mom in 2001 and find the ideas, resources and advice invaluable.

And Working Mother is more than just a magazine; they are an influential organization that has become a powerful advocate for women, diversity and work/life effectiveness in the workplace. You’ll look forward to every issue!

How to Win a One-Year Subscription to Working Mother Magazine:
To enter the contest, just leave a comment on this post. In your post tell me - what do you do with magazines once you’ve read them?

Earn additional entries when you:

• {1 entry} Sign up for automatic updates from The Integrated Mother via email or RSS. Then send an email to integratedmother [at] gmail [dot] com with “magazine” and the secret code in the subject line. You can find the secret code at the bottom of any post, whether you sign up for email or RSS updates. It’ll look something like this:

• {1 entry} Link to this page on your blog or via Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Facebook, etc., then leave a comment here to let me know how and where you shared. (1 entry)

Remember, you must enter each giveaway separately so I’ll know which you’re interested in! Please be sure to visit the main Back-to-Mom Giveaway page for additional giveaways and guidelines.

Good luck!

Weird. Could it be that I’ve run out of things to say? My typical creative, idea generating brain has been lifeless in the last few days, so I’m topic-less tonight and would love your input.

What topics, related to working motherhood, are you dying to read more about? Please post your reply to this post.

Perhaps this is really just God’s way of telling me shut up and listen more. Or maybe He’s giving me a break from all the thinking I do because He knows I need it. I’ll go contemplate over that in the next few days. In the meantime, I’m all ears, so tell me what’s on your mind!

By the way, not only am I topic-less, but now I feel topless too as I sit here and wonder, “Will anyone respond?” Don’t leave me here naked please!

Enter to win a momAgenda Desktop Day Planner!
You’ll fall in love with this stylish, mom-friendly day planner that features week-at-a-glance and monthly views. Plus, you’ll appreciate nifty features like the favorite websites section, space for notes on books, movies, fashion, and music, vacation and party planning pages, and more. The momEssentials pamphlet comes with space not just for addresses, but also for adults’ and kids’ medical information, birthdays, websites and passwords, and more.

Winner can choose her choice of stylish, stain-resistant colors: Fuchsia, Marine, Chocolate, Lime, and Leopard. Size: 7″x9″x1″.

How to Win the 2008-2009 momAgenda Desktop Planner:

To enter the contest, just leave a comment on this post. In your post tell me - if you were granted an extra hour a day, how would you spend it?

Earn additional entries when you:

• {1 entry} Sign up for automatic updates from The Integrated Mother via email or RSS. Then send an email to integratedmother [at] gmail [dot] com with “momAgenda” and the secret code in the subject line. You can find the secret code at the bottom of any post, whether you sign up for email or RSS updates. The footer will look something like this:

• {1 entry} Link to this page on your blog or via Digg, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Facebook, etc., then leave a comment here to let me know how and where you shared. (1 entry)

Please be sure to visit the main Back-to-Mom Giveaway page for additional giveaways and guidelines.

Good luck!

Summer is over and the kids are heading back to school. While you’re consumed with the back-to-school frenzy, The Integrated Mother is thinking about you! That’s why we’re giving away products and services from our collection of favorite picks for working moms – it’s the Back-to-Mom Giveaway and you’re invited to participate!

The Back-to-Mom Giveaway takes place September 3-9, 2008; but you’ll have a chance to enter through 11:59 pm EST on September 11, 2008. Winners will be announced on September 12, 2008.

How to Win
Every day during the giveaway event, we’ll feature one of our sponsors (shown below) and the opportunity for you to win their product or service. To enter, simply click on the giveaway you wan to enter and follow the instructions on the giveaway page. Keep in mind, you must enter each giveaway individually so that we know which prize you want to win.

	#1. momAgenda Click here to enter this giveaway Get organized with style with a momAgenda Desktop day planner. This planner has a unique week-at-a-view format with space for mom and up to four children.
	#2. Working Mother Magazine Click here to enter this giveaway Receive a one-year subscription to Working Mother, a magazine for career-committed mothers who have made the decision to raise a family while pursuing a successful career.
	#3. WorkOptions.com Click here to enter this giveaway Get approval for a flexible work or telecommuting arrangement with WorkOptions.com’s Flex Success Proposal template. The template is ready for you to customize to match your specific job.
	#4. CareerBags.com Click here to enter this giveaway Shop for stylish, multi-functional bags and totes for professional women with a $25 gift certificate from CareerBags.com.
	#5. See Jane Work Giveaway opens 9/7/08 Transform your dull office space into chic and stylish with a $25 gift certificate from See Jane Work, the place style-conscious working moms shop for their office needs.
	#6. Women for Hire Giveaway opens 9/8/08 Tory Johnson, CEO of Women for Hire and Workplace Contributor on ABC’s Good Morning America, is giving away her expert advice through two terrific book titles, Take This Book to Work and Will Work From Home.
	#7. SitterCity Giveaway opens 9/9/08 Win a one-year membership to Sittercity.com, the country’s leading source for babysitters, nannies and many other caregivers. With background checks, parent-to-parent reviews, references and more, Sittercity makes it safe and simple to find a caregiver in any city nationwide.

Giveaway Guidelines
This giveaway is open to US residents only. You must use a valid email address when submitting your entry; entries will be verified. Please note, any comments that simply say “enter me,” “pick me,” or something similar will not count. Entries must be received by 11:59 pm EST on Thursday, September 11, 2008. Winners for each giveaway will be chosen at random by Random.org and announced here on Friday, September 12, 2008. Winners have five (5) days to respond to the request for their mailing address before forfeiting their prize. Forfeited prizes will be given to another randomly selected entry. Winner’s personal contact information is shared only with the company sponsoring the prize for the sole purpose of delivering prize to winner.

Working moms face tough choices when it comes to deciding whether to continue with their ambitious, pre-children career track full-time. Despite strides made to “break the glass ceiling” and offer women equal opportunities for advancement, there’s no question that taking time off for family reasons puts a kink in a normally smooth running, corporate career cog. Women in the workplace are still faced with the conflicting demands of putting in adequate face time at the office and the managing the guilt of being away from family responsibilities. Too often, working moms attempt to resolve this conflict with a black or white solution - either I work (opt-in) or I don’t work (opt-out). Yet, there are alternatives to completely opting out of your career; you could off-ramp your career instead.

Off-ramping versus Opting-out
The penalties for fully opting-out of your career can be harsh. Depending on your industry and the amount of time you’re off, you may find that you’re unable to bounce back to your previous position and salary level when it’s time to return to work. Despite your stellar work history before opting out, employers can have a negative view of a multi-year gap in your work history. An alternative to the black/white approach, adopt a middle-ground by off-ramping, or reducing the amount of time you work and intentionally slowing the pace you move up the career ladder; this enables you to spend time with your family, while maintaining your professional network and skills.

How to off-ramp your career

• Don’t quit your job, seek flexible work options first. Instead of quitting your full-time career cold-turkey, seek ways to flex your work. This might mean negotiating a telecommuting, part-time, job-share or compressed work schedule. With this approach you’re still plugged into the professional world, but also have additional time to focus on your family’s needs.
• Stay in touch with your professional network. You’ve heard the adage, “out of sight is out of mind,” and this is especially true in the workplace. When you off-ramp, you inevitably lose valuable “face time” with your co-workers. Find ways to stay connected with your professional network. Some options include, connecting virtually on LinkedIn, attending once-a-month meetings with relevant professional or trade organizations, or picking up the phone periodically to check in with people.
• Seek professional development. On-the-job experience is important, but if you’re working less hours, you may not have the opportunity to be a part of critical, skill-building projects at work. To fill the gap, ask your employer or self-fund professional development during your off-ramp time, whether that means pursuing another degree, obtaining a professional certification or keeping up on industry news through books and periodicals.

Of course, even after weighing the benefits of off-ramping, you may decide that opting out of your career for a short time is best for you and your family. If that sounds like you, and you still hope to return to work once your children are older, then consider finding non-traditional work that maintains and grows your professional skills. This might be in the form of starting a home-based business or taking on volunteer leadership roles in your community.

The Integrated Mother bottom line…whether you plan to opt-out or off-ramp, if you want to return to work later, be sure to maintain your professional skills and connections.

A little side note…Tomorrow is the kick off of our Back-to-Mom Giveaway event. I think you’ll love the working mom-friendly giveaways, so stay tuned for your chance to enter!

On Tuesday, my daughter mentioned that one of her good friend hadn’t been in school all week and she hoped she was okay. I affirmed this and lightly responded, “Maybe she’s sick.”

On Wednesday, my daughter told me that her friend’s dad had died and that’s why she was out of school. I was immediately consumed with so much sadness and regret that it brought tears to my eyes. My daughter looked at me strangely as if to wonder, “Why the heck are you crying?” then spun around to play with her brother and sister.

On Thursday, my daughter informed me that her friend was moving away to be closer to her extended family. And again, I’m filled with grief, but hold back my tears as I wonder what’s going on in my daughter’s head because she seems to be totally unaffected by any of this.

I didn’t know my daughter’s friend very well and only spoke to her mom in passing as we dropped off or picked up our children from school; occasionally, we would chat at school-hosted parent events or field tips. I rarely spoke to her father, except to wave “hello” as he waited in their SUV. Part of my regret comes from not taking the time to get to know this wonderful family and their daughter, whom my daughter had obviously grown fond of. You know the excuses, “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you next time.” I’m saddened that there won’t be a next time to befriend her father or get to know her mother more, and perhaps there won’t be a next time for the girls to get together outside of school (something we’d been planning since last school year) before they move away.

I’m overcome with the reality of life and how fleeting it really can be. And I’m shocked into the awareness that despite all the complaints I have about the rising cost of living, the oppressive Arizona heat, and the daily struggle to figure out what’s for dinner, that none of it really matters in the absence of the people I care most about. My impulse is to lock my family in our home and hold them close forever, but that’s irrational. Instead, I’ll just hold on to this uncomfortable feeling of sadness and regret for a bit so that I can always remember how truly important it is to put first things first in life.