Title: The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
Author: Dr. Emerson Eggrichs
ISBN: 9780849948077
Pages: 355
Release Date: October 13, 2009
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Genre: Marriage
Rating: 4 out of 5
Summary:
This book is a follow up to his first book, Love & Respect. Now focusing specifically on communication, Eggrichs offers a step-by-step approach for how married couples can learn to speak to each other in ways that show respect for him and love for her. This level of mutual understanding, Eggrichs asserts, is the key to a happy, successful marriage.
Review:
Admittedly, I’ve had this book for months. Thomas-Nelson sent me a complimentary review copy in November 2009 and it’s taken me this long to get through it. And this isn’t because the material is difficult to digest, but it is a challenge to implement. Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to pick up a book, read it, and apply all its principles to perfection the next day? But as with anything that deals with relationships, advice meant to affect change takes time to unfold and for me, it’s still a work in progress.
There were a number of things I appreciated from Eggrichs’ book:
- Straightforward advice: The premise of the book is, “Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love.” That alone offers many things to consider in a marriage relationship as Eggrichs describes the “crazy cycle” many married couples get into when one part of the formula is tipped off balance. He explains how to get off the crazy cycle and move toward an “energizing cycle” and eventually the “rewarded cycle.” Whether you’re marriage is perfect or not-so-perfect, you’ll find the information on each cycle informative as all marriage move in and out of each cycle in a lifetime.
- Real-life examples: Eggrichs weaves deep and descriptive examples of his principles at work throughout the book. Bringing examples from his own marriage, and that of his clients, he offers the reader glimpses of other marriages in action. From a reader perspective, I appreciated reading about the imperfections in other marriages, not because I enjoy seeing distress in married couples, but because it helped me realize that the things I sometimes struggle in are not isolated or totally unique.
- Gentle, but firm encouragement: Marriage is like money – it’s a topic that few want to discuss candidly. We put on the public image we want people to see, and then quietly work through our struggles behind closed doors. When you read The Language of Love & Respect it’s like having a quiet partner, urging you to unfold your feelings and dive into territory that you’d rather avoid. Sometimes it just seems easier to pretend your marriage is perfect, than to reveal it for what it really is. Eggrichs offers a firm hand; for example, “Self-centeredness does not lead to mutual understanding.” But also offers warm compassion and encouragement along the way.
By the way, the book is written from a Christian perspective; however, regardless of your beliefs the advice you’ll discover is sound and applicable to most any marriage. And why did I give it 4 out of 5 stars? Primarily because the content, while informative and practical, was a lot to digest. It could have been presented in a more inviting way. For example, the chapters were heavy with content and it would have been nice to have chapter endings that summarized key points and offered activities or questions to move me forward. Regardless, it’s a resource worth having.
NOTE: Thomas Nelson provided a complimentary review copy of The Language of Love & Respect for the purpose of this review. Read full disclosure HERE.
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