Back in the day (circa 1999-2003), I worked for a dot-com. That experience fulfilled every cliché vision you might have of a thriving, entrepreneurial workplace. I remember arriving to my first day at work, wondering why they hired me. I was a by-the-book corporate cog who’d previously worked for a software development company (of accounting software of all things!). I felt so out of place.
But it didn’t take long for me to adopt the ways of the once-foreign corporate culture. In fact, I’m still trying to shake one aspect of it today, namely the “I’m important” perspective that made people feel good, but resulted in a ton of stress.
“You must be important,” a co-worker once said to me, “You’re in so many meetings.”
“Uh, I guess so,” was all I could say as I wondered how sitting in meetings for hours a day translated into importance.
Yet looking back, there was a certain level of self-importance that came with carrying my laptop around the office, cruising from one conference room to another, hob-nobbing with Directors, VPs and the like. I suppose the lucky person NOT in those meetings figured we were discussing top-secret dot-com stuff only reserved for the inner circle of important people. But in reality, I sat in many of those meetings wondering why I was there in the first place. Usually I wasn’t needed, but my job title earned an invite that I felt obliged to accept.
Regardless of what you do for a living or where you are in the working mom journey, chances are there is something in your life that makes you feel important, but is really a waste of time. Let me reframe that: it’s not producing any value for you, your family or your life.
We’re ambitious women. We say “yes” and truly believe we can do it all. And if we can prove that we can do it all, we feel important. But doing it all takes time, time that could be better used (to create true balance and fulfillment) if we focused more on the areas of our lives that really mattered.
Being important isn’t important, but it sure is easy to get sucked into the belief that it is. To reclaim your work-life you must be willing to change your traditional perceptions of importance (or success). This shift in perspective begins with asking yourself these questions:
- Is what I’m doing creating value? Use your mission statement to measure this.
- Would not doing this hurt anyone? This isn’t about being selfish, so consider your impact on others.
- How much time would I gain if I let this activity go? You can reallocate it to another high-priority area of your life, or just enjoy the space in your day.
Evaluating your actions using these questions will go a long way to simplifying your work-life. Often, what was once important to you no longer holds value, yet you still hold on to it. Life changes, so change with it. Figure out what activities should be eliminated, minimized or developed and enjoy the freedom doing so offers as your time is put into better use.
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I really appreciate having read this today. Thank you. It’s time to take inventory!
Thanks for the comment Amy. I’m glad the timing of the post was useful.
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