I‘ve discovered that the one reliable attribute of working motherhood is change. It’s usually the kind of swift, unexpected of change that just blows you right off your feet. No wonder so many working moms complain about always feeling disorganized and stressed. When change is barreling down on you – daily – it’s hard not to buckle under its pressure.
Sometimes change is planned. For instance, I recently mentioned my plans to return to work full-time as a part of a larger plan for our family to relocate back to San Diego. Then again, sometimes change is unexpected. Not long after I made that announcement, my freelance writing business unexpectedly surged, which opposed my original goals.
Yet, the fluidity of motherhood is something that I value most. Life is never boring and best of all, if I don’t like how my day is going I know that tomorrow will likely be totally different. Of course, I didn’t arrive at this optimistic (some might describe “Pollyanna”) perspective easily. In fact, there was a time when change and I were bitter enemies. Whenever I felt change coming, whether of my own doing or the unexpected, I hunkered down and resisted it with every ounce of energy I could muster. Usually I lost to change. Sometimes there’s just no stopping it. If I did happen to get a win, I was so exhausted and beaten from the battle that it left little to celebrate.
Today, change and I have a much better relationship. I’ve figured out a way for both of us to win. The strategy is fairly simple – let the map be your guide.
Life and the pursuit of your goals or your dreams is a lot like going on a road trip. You start at point A (where you are today) and set out to get to point B (where you want to be). A map is used to guide you and provide direction. The initial route you choose will likely be the shortest, fastest distance between the two points. With your plan in place, you set off.
But along your route you bump into a road block. Change is afoot! Initially you’re irritated and a bit frazzled. This road block will certainly make you late to your destination. Once you’ve calmed down, you realize that you can probably take a different route to your destination so you refer to your map to figure it out.
This map analogy has helped me navigate the twists and turns of motherhood. I run into a lot of road blocks! But instead of giving up when I bump into one, I simply change my course. Sometimes that means taking a slow, bumpy road when I’d rather be zipping 75+ MPH on the freeway. It’s the difference between cruise control and stop-and-go traffic. Regardless of the road conditions, I’m never too worried because I have my map. I know where I’m headed and I just keep going.
So, let me break this down into some practical tips that you can you take away and chew on:
- Get a map. That means writing your mission statement and establishing some short- and long-term goals for your work-life.
- Figure out your best route and get moving. Assess your mission alongside your goals and create a course of action. Then move along. Goals without action are just empty dreams.
- Look out for road blocks and be ready to change course. A lot of working moms get locked into one way of doing things. Stop being so emotionally invested in your “one way” that you fail to see opportunities to change course and maybe reach your destination faster.
- Plan for contingencies, but don’t stress. If you’re proactive, you may decide to pre-plan additional routes to your destination, which is fine. Just don’t squander away your time over-analyzing an endless series of “what if” scenarios. It only creates stress especially when the real question you should be asking is, “What if all these contingencies never happen? I will have stressed for no reason.” Not good.
- Enjoy the ride. When seasoned moms told me how quickly children grow up, I didn’t believe them. Now I do. My oldest is eight and growing up way too fast. Motherhood is fleeting. The ride will be over sooner than you expect, so you may as well sit back and enjoy it while it lasts.
Related posts:
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks so much for this post. I really needed to read this TODAY. I come from a family of planners and I have been one basically all my life. But the pseudo-single motherhood thing continuously keeps me off track. Procrastination and distraction are my worst enemies. I appreciate this encouragement to returning to letting a map be my guide. I have friends that create vision boards and revisit their goals annually. I need to get back to being proactive. Thanks! I’ll follow you through blogger and on twitter because I like your writing style. Best!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Joyce! I’m glad the post was helpful and I appreciate your positive feedback.
Michele
{ 1 trackback }