Guest post by Lori Radun.
The other day Ian climbed up on my lap with his usual printed copy of a house plan. Yes, you heard that right. Ian searches for houses on the internet and prints out the blueprint of the floor plan. He says to me “Mom, plan your day.” He wants me to take him through what I would do for the whole day in the house as his little finger follows me from room to room. This passion of Ian’s has been going on for a few months now, so this is certainly not the first time he has asked me to do this. With a big sigh I said “Oh honey, sometimes Mommy gets tired of doing this.” What he said next tore at my heart. “I’m just trying to find something to do with you mom.”
Last night I wrestled with my 17 year old son, and believe me I cherished that moment because rarely do I get that opportunity to connect with him. He’s gone all the time, participating in sports, hanging out with friends, or working. And in just a few short months, he is leaving for college and my opportunity to play with him will be gone.
There is no greater gift you can give yourself and your children than to be completely in the moment when you play with them. As busy moms, that’s not always easy. We have work to do, thoughts to be mulled over, and sometimes we’re just plain too tired to play.
When we are children, it is easy to be in the moment. We are not stuck in the past, or worrying about the future. Life happens in the moment. But then a funny thing happens and our brains develop and become more complex. Suddenly something as simple as staying present takes work and practice.
There is no magical formula for being in the moment with our children. We just need to stay conscious of our wandering thoughts, our urge to get things done, and the beliefs that stop us from losing ourselves in play. When these things threaten to interfere, we simply bring our attention back to our children and enjoy the present moment.
The benefits we receive when engaged in play are definitely worth taking time out to be in the flow of life with our children:
Wonder and Delight
Children help us experience delight in the simplicity of life. From the handful of dandelions they pick for you to the caterpillar crawling across the sidewalk, children remind us to stop and smell the roses. Observe the smiles and excitement and allow yourself to get sucked into their world of wonder and amazement.
Peace and Serenity
When we can allow ourselves to let go and be in the moment, all our worries and challenges melt away. An inner peace takes over and we forget about all the troubles in life. Time passes by, but we don’t care because our soul is at rest. On Mother’s Day this year, I watched an old video of my son Ian when he was 6 months old. I felt serene and content as I observed him communicating with and exploring his world.
Joy and Happiness
Play is designed to help us release our inhibitions and connect with the inner child that is within us. Joy and happiness is what we experience when we allow laughter to escape from our bodies. Children love to laugh, and they need us to access our silly side so we can be on the same page with them. By learning to engage in imaginative play with our children, we create a lasting bond that tells our children “you are loved”.
Balance and Love
Some of the greatest memories my son Kai has of his father are playing basketball indoors on his plastic toy basketball hoop. The space they played in was so small, but his father was animated in his play, and the love and joy flowed from him. Life cannot be all work and no play. Chores and work obligations should be balanced with fun and enjoyment. Challenges and stressful moments need to be balanced with love and peace.
So the next time your child wants to play or connect with you on some level, stop. Put aside whatever you are doing, and allow yourself to be completely in the moment with him. Children don’t need a large quantity of our time as long as we give them our undivided presence. In turn, we will be blessed with the love, joy, peace and wonder that life has to offer.
Lori Radun is a certified life coach, inspirational speaker and author of The Momnificent Life ~ Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms. For more great tips and to receive two free reports “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children” and “52 Positive Affirmations for Moms”, visit www.momnificent.com.
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I love this post! I whole-heartedly agree that we need to be totally “with” our kids and take time out for them. Play is the love-language of children.
Thanks for this!
Cindi
My kids love it when I plag tag with them. One day we were plating and one of the neighborhood kids came over. He was utterly shocked that I was playing with the kids. “My dad never plays with me,” he said. His words broke my heart. I invited him to join us and he had a great time playing with his friends and their dad.
Wow – that is sad. Nice that you included him so he could experience fun.
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