Tomorrow, I’m running 13.1 miles.
If you’re a seasoned, long-distance runner, that kind of mileage doesn’t cause you to blink an eye. Even for me, having trained for two previous half-marathons and a self-confessed running addict, 13.1 miles shouldn’t be a big deal.
But it is. Heck, sometimes a three mile run gets my panties in a bunch.
Last night, as a slept tossed and turned in anticipation of tomorrow’s half marathon, I wondered why I make myself absolutely crazy about it all. Then it occurred to me…
I feel better about pursuing a goal when I have evidence that it’s possible.
There are two ways I gather evidence:
- Go find other people who have achieved what I want; or
- Look for instances when I’ve achieved the goal, or done something similar in the past.
I know – you’re wondering what the problem is. There are countless women who have run 13.1 miles before. I’ve personally run two half marathons and spent the better part of the Spring running, on average, 22-27 miles a week. The evidence is there, yet so is my anxiety.
Since sleep wasn’t an option, I continued to ponder why 13.1 miles felt so daunting. It took a while (it’s not like 3 am is prime time for clear thinking) but I realized that it comes down to what my run partner tells me every time I begin to struggle in a run, “It’s all mental Michele. You can totally do it.”
I perform better and achieve my goals with greater ease when my mind believes I can do it.
Yes, my sleepless night could have been resolved with a cliche, but grounded principle of success: “If you believe it, you can conceive it.”
This statement is the reason why I sometimes fly through a long run full of energy; I feel like I could run forever. It’s also the reason that I sometimes feel like I might die trying to finish a short, three-mile run around the neighborhood.
To run 13.1 miles tomorrow and finish with a decent time, I just need to believe it’s possible. Sounds simple enough, right? Maybe for some, but I have a powerful mind that houses a terribly feisty inner critic. And that little Gremlin takes great joy in breaking me down. It convinces me that my pursuits are impossible, so I usually have to suit up with an armor of positive thinking (and a healthy dose of prayer) to win some battles.
As I continued to reflect on my anxiety, I recognized that the battle with my Gremlin usually follows a four-phase process, whether I’m pursuing a half marathon goal or something else.
- Disbelief: When I think, I can’t do it, I won’t. The Gremlin has such a tight hold on my thinking that nothing seems possible.
- Possibility: When I think, I might be able to do it, something begins to stir inside me – excitement, anticipation, curiosity, etc. – and I begin to obsess about it. The Gremlin is working furiously to give me evidence that my goal is ridiculous, but I too busy obsessing to pay close attention to its antics.
- Decision: When I think, I will do it, I have a vision that’s powerful enough to compel action. The Gremlin is losing its power by now, but still rears it’s ugly head trying to get me back to a feeling of disbelief.
- Change: When I think, I am doing it!, my mind meets my actions and behavior. Then, guess what? I AM doing it! The Gremlin has lost (for now), but it won’t give up. It plans to return for another day of battle.
So, as I prepare myself for tomorrow’s big day, I won’t be doing anymore training runs; my body is ready. Instead, I’ll be focused on the mental training (and Gremlin fighting) it will take to get me across the finish line so that mind is ready too.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
13.1 Miles? I’m impressed. Stop fretting about the run. I know you can do it and so do you.
Good luck on your run! This book really helped me with my anxiety. It’s an oldie but a goodie! “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie–Here’s the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Worrying-Start-Living/dp/0671733354
Good luck! I have no doubt in my mind that you will be OK. But, I do understand the anxiety. You are an overachiever and perfectionist. I am too, so I totally understand. As my daughter says, “close eye. deep breathe. feel better?”