Okay, I’ll fess up before you read on…I’m not an expert in delegation. Quite frankly, I’m a control-freak and don’t like to relinquish control of much, unless I’m assured of my 100% satisfaction that the same or better results can be achieved by someone else. So, I’m writing this post to help you and help myself. When I’ve applied these principles, delegation is a breeze and things actually get done…and done well! The trick is actually getting myself to make these principles a habit.
Working moms are known for being busy. Most complain about juggling priorities and having too much on their plates, yet will say “yes” to more. The natural consequence of saying “yes” too much is an overflowing platter of things to do. Here are some indications that you might have too much, or at least the wrong things, on your plate:
- You’re always running “just a bit behind” schedule on EVERYTHING.
- You’re busy, but not productive.
- Your work overlaps into your personal time, and vice versa.
- You’re constantly irritable, on-edge or stressed.
- Things that used to be easy to accomplish, are suddenly overwhelming.
Unfortunately, most working mothers have been socially programmed to adopt a distorted view of motherhood that encourages them to be a “do-be-have-it-all woman.” You’re trying to be an exceptional mother, and you’re trying to do it all by yourself. This kind of self-reliance may work for a period of time, but the long-term effects of this approach can lead to depression, anxiety and stress-related illnesses.
To get back on the road to greater productivity, more effective living and overall balance, consider implementing these three steps to share the workload you carry from day-to-day:
1.) Separate your emotions from the situation. As an achievement-oriented woman, you may be connecting too closely with the work you do, professionally and personally. You care about the outcome of everything, and are even emotionally attached to how the outcome is achieved (“my way or the highway” mentality). The first step toward successful delegation is to let go of the emotion attached to whatever task you’re handing off. If you’re especially tied to a task, or it’s a high-risk task (i.e. the consequences of it not being done properly are grave), then consider passing along a less emotional, or less risky, task. This will relieve your own stress and gives the person you’re delegating to an opportunity to show you they can handle the task.
2.) Focus on what and when, not how. When you’re delegating a task or assignment, whether it’s to a peer at work or a family member, it’s important to clarify the results you expect. In this step, you should also establish clear boundaries, or guidelines, within which the task should be completed. For instance, if you ask your son to maintain the front yard, what should he know about the tools he has available to him? As a word of caution, don’t fall into the trap of explaining how to accomplish the task, unless of course, you’re delegating to a young child who needs help understanding the basic how-to’s of a task. When you question or direct someone else’s approach, your helpfulness could be misconstrued as “she thinks I’m stupid,” which is damaging to the relationship and decreases the person’s desire to help you.
3.) Develop a system for accountability (and rewards, if appropriate). Rather than micro-manage a delegated task, mutually set up a process for how and when you’ll follow-up or check-in. They key here is “mutually.” You will foster self-confidence and independence, especially in your young children, when you co-create the process for follow-up. As an example, if you want to elicit the help of your children with household chores, begin by agreeing on a specific room in the house (i.e. their bathroom or bedroom). Then, ask them to develop a list of three to five things that need to be done to keep the area clean. Next agree on the standards for accountability; for example, maintaining the general order of the area is an on-going responsibility, but major cleaning occurs on Saturdays. You might also agree on whether you would be available if they need help, and how long you will wait before asking them about their unkempt area. Finally, establish how they will be rewarded for a job well done.
Like any skill, learning to delegate is a lot like strengthening a muscle. Initially, it may be painful to consistently apply these principles. But, stick with them. Over time, you’ll notice that delegation becomes much easier and eventually your plate won’t be quite so full.
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What great advice. I know I am a control freak and I also know that I have been very bogged down since my second child and can’t seem to do all that I use to do with such ease.
So true, so true! We can easily be tossed around by other people’s agendas rather than our own carefully thought-out priorities and passions, including the legacy we want to leave our children and future generations!
Bev Coggins
http://www.1-2-3GetOrganized.blogspot.com
Thanks for the tips. I am always trying to do everything myself and most days walk around completly stressed and unproductive.
Sometimes I feel like your posts are written specifically for me
I am definitely a bit of a conttrol freak, particularly when it comes to my graphic design business and my blog. I have never wanted to turn my business into a large design firm, mostly because I don’t think I’d be able to delegate design projects to other designers. Which means I’ll always be busy. Hopefully, after reading this, I will be more conscious of being busy AND productive, instead of just the latter.
This is so very helpful. I am sitting here this Monday morning extremely overwhelmed with all I need to get done! Reading this post was perfect timing!
This is wonderful. Thank you so much for posting this. Very helpful.
Grand advice! If I followed it, I’d have a trifle more peace!
Useful hints. Delegating is a big hurdle for me, I always think I can do it faster/better/sooner, but it’s really beneficial to everyone in the house for me to relinquish control a little.